I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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