Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
