we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
