You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
