I need help removing her.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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