he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
