I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize