my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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