FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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