So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
