quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
