Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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