i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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