she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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