btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
