he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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