I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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