You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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