So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I could fuck to npr.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
