I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
last night I used snow as a chaser
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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