I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
