No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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