At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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