Where is the hickey?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he thought i was a dude.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
