OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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