It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My feet surprised me
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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