I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my being single is dangerous.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
