Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
