She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
