You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
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I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize