She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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