Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
