We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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