yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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