did you get engaged???
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
