xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You can't just leave with hair like that
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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