I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
