its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
