Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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