i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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