Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
