Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize