i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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