That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
