well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
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You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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