dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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