if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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