What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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