is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well I just put wine in my tea
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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