I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
