a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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