weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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