I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
