ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
