at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize