If that was your dad, he is hot
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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